Being a codependent you know how it is to put your needs to the side and you have learned that being a doormat is a way of life. You can probably look back at your relationships and notice a pattern where your needs are not important and you’re always the helper. Being a helper isn’t a negative thing, but it can feel like one when it’s out of balance. You have learned that being vulnerable is scary versus empowering and that being imperfect is a flaw versus a beautiful part of life.
Your identity has some how become wrapped up into your role as “the helper”. You tend to find yourself in relationship that are toxic and one sided. Wherefore you’re left with feelings of emptiness and confusion. You start to wonder what is wrong with me and why do I continue to let people walk all over me? When life feels so out of control it’s a very normal human reaction to want to control their surroundings and that’s why the need to fix is so important to a codependent’s identity. When your relationships are dysfunctional you tend to focus on their needs and your needs becoming less important. You start to quantify your emotions to theirs and tell yourself what your feeling isn’t important. Loving yourself and creating an identify that makes you feel filled is so imperative to a healthy relationship with yourself and others.
- How to identify Codependency
- My feelings are a burden to others.
- No one knows me, but I know everyone else
- My relationships are my everything and their approval is the most important thing to me.
- I’m so busy every day doing things for others I often times neglect my own needs
- You take other people’s problems as your own and you tend to feel burnt out and overwhelmed.
- I’m always feeling taken advantage of.
What is the root cause of codependency?
- Often times people with codependency had a parent who had some type of addiction. In the past the research solely focused on children of alcoholics. However, they have now identified that it spans all addictions.
- It can stem from early feelings of needing to take care of your parents and others.
- Emotional and Physical neglect can make you feel unimportant and can create a need to help others.
How I can help you
- I can help you with setting healthy boundaries for yourself and others around you.
- We can work on re-writing your narrative you have created and helping you live the best versions of you.
- We will process through childhood emotions and how those affect your currently.
- I will help you create a healthy view of self-care and empower you to love who you are.